SAIC UNVEIL THE MG WASP
Following months of speculation, it is understood that Shanghai Automotive Industry Corporation (SAIC) is on the verge of announcing its eagerly-awaited new vehicle in the E-I-E-I-0(“peasant car”) sector, which mguk.org can reveal is to be dubbed the “MG Wasp” in homage to the historic BMC luxury-marque Mini, the Wolseley Hornet.
Early mock-ups have been sighted, not at drawing board stage, but already at the later ironing board phase.
The bar code on the roof proves this is a genuine Chinese prototype. Note also the weight-saving lack of windows.
(Spy shot of the MG Wasp at the ironing board stage yesterday)
The car will be available only in bright yellow, as befits its name, and will feature a huge MG octagon badge. It is expected that this will mean other cars will get out of the way of the Wasp in case they get delaminated on.
The car will be produced at the Fiat Shoddy Manufacturing (FSM) factory in Poland.
RILEY TROLL
Although BMW kept the rights to the Riley name, it is understood that a variant to be known as the Riley Troll (named in homage to the Riley Elf) is to be produced alongside the Wasp. In an historic decision, the main board of BMW AG in Milbertshofen (Munich) HQ have taken this step to bring BMW CO2 emissions down and boost profits from scrap premiums. This will follow the trend of expensive, upmarket cars which are huge on the outside but small on the inside such as the Volvo C30 (named after a cassette which is just as big as the others but has a uselessly small amount of usable capacity).
The Troll will feature BMW’s new Distance Control, Abstandskontrolle 47 (AK47). If, on the motorway, the Troll should leave more than a foot of distance to the car in front, AK47 realises this mistake and closes the gap. The Riley also features a GOST-F “Get Out of Side Turnings Free” card - as it is not badged BMW, the driver stands a chance of ever joining the main carriageway.
SPECIFICATIONS
MG WASP
652cc 2-stroke, 2-cylinder engine (discovered in a scrappy in Paris) developing zero CO2 while off.
20 bhp. (blithely hoped-for power)
0-60 measured by optional calendar.
Hybrid option: Haier Vacuum Cylinder drive (dependent on length of optional extension lead)
Enormous badge.
Yellow colour.
No windows.
RILEY TROLL
As Wasp plus:
AK47 Distance Control
GOST-F Side Turning Exit Control
Stupid price.
(Press release embargoed until April 1st)
Following months of speculation, it is understood that Shanghai Automotive Industry Corporation (SAIC) is on the verge of announcing its eagerly-awaited new vehicle in the E-I-E-I-0(“peasant car”) sector, which mguk.org can reveal is to be dubbed the “MG Wasp” in homage to the historic BMC luxury-marque Mini, the Wolseley Hornet.
Early mock-ups have been sighted, not at drawing board stage, but already at the later ironing board phase.
The bar code on the roof proves this is a genuine Chinese prototype. Note also the weight-saving lack of windows.
(Spy shot of the MG Wasp at the ironing board stage yesterday)
The car will be available only in bright yellow, as befits its name, and will feature a huge MG octagon badge. It is expected that this will mean other cars will get out of the way of the Wasp in case they get delaminated on.
The car will be produced at the Fiat Shoddy Manufacturing (FSM) factory in Poland.
RILEY TROLL
Although BMW kept the rights to the Riley name, it is understood that a variant to be known as the Riley Troll (named in homage to the Riley Elf) is to be produced alongside the Wasp. In an historic decision, the main board of BMW AG in Milbertshofen (Munich) HQ have taken this step to bring BMW CO2 emissions down and boost profits from scrap premiums. This will follow the trend of expensive, upmarket cars which are huge on the outside but small on the inside such as the Volvo C30 (named after a cassette which is just as big as the others but has a uselessly small amount of usable capacity).
The Troll will feature BMW’s new Distance Control, Abstandskontrolle 47 (AK47). If, on the motorway, the Troll should leave more than a foot of distance to the car in front, AK47 realises this mistake and closes the gap. The Riley also features a GOST-F “Get Out of Side Turnings Free” card - as it is not badged BMW, the driver stands a chance of ever joining the main carriageway.
SPECIFICATIONS
MG WASP
652cc 2-stroke, 2-cylinder engine (discovered in a scrappy in Paris) developing zero CO2 while off.
20 bhp. (blithely hoped-for power)
0-60 measured by optional calendar.
Hybrid option: Haier Vacuum Cylinder drive (dependent on length of optional extension lead)
Enormous badge.
Yellow colour.
No windows.
RILEY TROLL
As Wasp plus:
AK47 Distance Control
GOST-F Side Turning Exit Control
Stupid price.
(Press release embargoed until April 1st)
